So far......

Long time no updates, rite? Got a lot to do with my life. Huhhh.....my current crush is Nikratama Zakrie from Pesan Dari Bintang :3 he's such a gentle-man, boyish, cute, faithful bestfriend+sweet boyfriend, and mostly handsome (I think). Although he talks a lot, looks like he's way cooler than Diaz Hanafiah, one of my most favorite character :p Best of all is that he fits very well with Inez Hanafiah, his former bestfriend-turned-to-be-his-wife. Their story can be called as....bittersweet. The way Niki gave his whole attention only for Inez, how anxious Inez when Niki got hurts, when they broke up because Niki felt that Inez wouldn't be safe with him, even when he proposed in the hospital. They both have been through a lot, Niki the-good-guy turned out to be a jerky playboy, Inez was almost -----, Niki's brother killing threat, Inez' brother's denial of their relationship......and still ended up together. How sweet :3

My favorite quote from Niki, dedicated to Inez:

I save the curly one for my wife

I'm so glad that finally the two got married :D their story's even sweeter than Diaz & Sisy's u,u
Sitta Karina is beyond amazing, her imagination is way further than anybody else. Simple, but developed in a very good way (y) each of the character is strong, Diaz, Sisy, Chris, Austin, Inez, Niki...., and she difines each of them very well in a very attractive description. Man, you really got to read her books :D


Enough with my imaginary crush. My real one is.......still the same. The story? Not quite different with the previous one. Still the same guy, same jerky-guy hahaha I'm not being hypocrite that I said that I'm over him but now when I got more chance, I took it. Honestly, I don't really know about my true feeling. I asked myself for so many times. I told myself that we're done and I should get over it/ But have I really? I guess I haven't -_____-"


But I'm smart enough to learn from past experience. The broken heart part, I mean. If he's nice to me, we can be friends. If he stays away for me, he's free to do that. If he does something beyond usual, it's just....not-a-thing. One of my best friends told me not to get too close to him. I don't know what's his perspective, guy's perspective? I don't know, maybe he just don't want me to get crushed by anything that could possibly happen. He also warned me that whatever he does, he might do that from his own advantages. I really respect his points more than anything.

Everytime he texts me, asking about what I'm doing, I still feel that sparks. Not as much as I felt in the past, quite less, though. I'm honest this time cause I'd be lying if I said I had no hard feelings on him. But spark is just spark, without his texts, doesn't make any differents. Hmm....I'm just wondering what keeps me hold on to him, there's plenty of guys, better than him. What happened between us it's not anybody's fault. It simply cites that we're not meant together, and that's it. Huh, the strongest part from feeling is that we can't control it, rite?